


A Dork's Guide To Dating

by inkandwords



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, M/M, Touou Kise Ryouta, aokiseweek, atsu fics, dork!mine, touou!kise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 18:09:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1788325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkandwords/pseuds/inkandwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aomine has always been drawn to Kise, but it isn’t until Kise finally beats him at a one-on-one that it hits him: he’s in love with Kise Ryouta. It isn’t so bad; he’s Aomine Daiki, after all. How hard could it be to make Kise fall?</p>
<p>Written for <a href="aokiseweek.tumblr.com">AoKise Week</a> on Tumblr. Day 7 Prompt: AUs/Anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Dork's Guide To Dating

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know that this counts as an AU, but Kise wins at a one-on-one, so that's AU enough for me. >___> Also, I keep picturing Aomine in that one manga panel where he's picking his nose and I just had a dire need to dive into his inner dork. Sorry not sorry. lol p.s. In addition to dork!mine, I've also self-indulged in some touou!kise. Enjoy. ;D
> 
> -H

"How the--?!"

The ball lands on the blacktop with a dull thud, Kise's shit-eating grin plastered across that smug face like he'd just won the goddamn lottery. Aomine's eyes flicker between the ball to Kise's face and back to the orange sphere now bouncing in slow motion toward them. 

And then it hits him. 

It's like a sucker punch to the jaw, completely out of left field, catching him off guard in a surprise so unexpected that it leaves him speechless. In all fairness, he would have been speechless anyway. After all, Kise never wins their one-on-ones.  _Never._  It's just his luck that the apocalyptic event also triggers another mindfuck, one that he never in a million years would have thought can happen. Not to him; all six feet, four inches of manly muscled glory and a head filled with images of busty females in varying undress. 

But it does and it happens so quickly that he rubs his neck from the whiplash. 

Aomine Daiki, star basketball player and gravure model aficionado, is suddenly, mindfuckingly in love with Kise Ryouta.

_Oh shit._

Kise's hands ball into fists and he punches the air with an overenthusiastic  _whoop_. He points a finger at Aomine, his expression victorious. "Take  _that_ , Aominecchi! I told you I'd win! How do ya like me now, huh?" Kise does this little dance, something that looks like a cross between a hip thrust and a squawking chicken, before he falls to his knees in over-exaggerated triumph. "I need a picture of this. I want to remember this day, and by remember I obviously mean rub it in your face forever and ever!  _Oh, I can't believe I finally beat Aominecchi!_ " 

The latter part is said in an almost reverent whisper as Kise scrambles off toward his duffel bag to search for his phone. Aomine scowls at the traitorous basketball rolling toward him like he'd been betrayed and he knows there will be weeks of gloating to follow. Not that he blames Kise for being overly excited. And smug. And stupidly hot while looking like a squawking chicken. 

_What...?_

Aomine shakes his head and blinks. Acclimating himself to thinking about Kise this way is going to take some getting used to. It's a good thing summer's ending; not seeing Kise every day is sure to help. They'll both go back to school and maybe, just maybe, Aomine can forget that he's just been hit by a semi in the form of Kise Ryouta. 

* * *

 

"Aominecchi!!"

Aomine turns toward the sound, mildly confused. The familiar voice, the annoying nickname, that over-enthusiasm that sometimes makes him want to kick something-- "There's no fucking way."

But, apparently, a way there is. Because standing there, clad in the same colored uniform he's wearing, is none other than Kise Ryouta. Aomine's jaw drops; not in the literal sense, of course, but he suddenly pictures an image from one of those old school cartoons he used to watch when he was a kid - the one where the character's jaw literally scrapes the ground and that's what it's like when he stares, completely shell-shocked, at the blond wearing that godforsaken smile Aomine can't get out of his head.

"Isn't this great?! I wasn't sure if I was going to enroll," Kise says, his eyes crinkling in that way that makes Aomine's stomach feel like there's a hoard of pissed off butterflies swarming inside when Kise approaches. "I had to make sure I was guaranteed a spot on the basketball team."

Aomine scowls and silently curses the reaction. "There's only room for one ace here, baka."

"That doesn't mean I can't play with Aominecchi, right? Don't worry, I won't let your-- well,  _our_ \-- teammates know that you've lost to me already. Hmm... maybe I can play you for the title." Kise is teasing and it makes Aomine both internally flustered and equally annoyed that the blond thinks he can best him again. 

"Yeah, right. Keep dreaming, Ryouta--" Instantly, he clams up. There's a million things going through his mind, all of which are swimming in a vat of  _'holy shit, I just called him by his first name'_. Aomine tries to play off the slight, but Kise's too quick. 

"Aominecchi," Kise begins, those golden eyes Aomine has found himself lately thinking more and more about now widening as Kise makes a noise that sounds something between a squeak and a gasp. "You used my... my..."

"Hah? What about it?"  _Play it cool. He's got the rebound rate of a goddamn puppy; he'll probably forget once something else catches his attention._  Aomine threads his hands behind his head and yawns. "Guess we should get to class. Huh... haven't said that to you in years." He chuckles and manages to sound like he's musing about it, when really, Aomine's trying not to stare at Kise because  _fuck_ , he looks pretty damn good in Touou's colors. "It's kinda weirding me out. I can give ya a quick tour of the place, though. If ya want." 

"Aren't we gonna be late for class?"

"If you don't want the stupid tour," Aomine says, shrugging as he turns to toward the corridor's exit. "Makes no difference to me. It was a dumb idea anyway."

"No, no! I want the tour!" Kise catches himself when Aomine turns his head. He tones down that thousand-watt smile that usually makes Aomine want to touch Kise's perfect fucking mouth in a way that friends should definitely not be thinking about. "Aominecchi's so mean!"

"Eh, c'mon then, dumbass. Maybe you'll actually make it to class afterward." He saunters off, Kise following behind him, and for moment, a shit-eating grin manages to tug his lips.

_Easy as pie._

* * *

 

Practices start off like they always do: laps and a few sprints to get everyone warmed up. Everyone, that is, except for Aomine. He sits on the edge of the stage and watches the rest of the team, eyes hooded and expression set to show his boredom in the most obvious way possible. He isn't even sure why he's there, but Satsuki threatened his Mai-chan magazines again and something in the way her eyes lit up like fireworks told him he better not miss the first official team practice. 

He falls back on the stage, hands behind his head, and legs swinging off the edge in that lazy way that lets anyone who was stupid enough to come near him know that they better have a good reason for interrupting the nothing he's currently doing. 

Suddenly, a chorus of cheers erupt from one end of the court and he lifts his head in time to see Kise's feet hit the floor, sneakers squeaking as he pivots to catch another ball passed his way. Two defenders come to block the blond and he swivels around them with ease, faking to the left before he eventually sails through the air, the flawless layup executed to perfection. Aomine's eyes stay glued to the blond and he wonders if there had always been those stupid sparkle things surrounding Kise when he shakes the sweat from his hair like that.

"Looks like there's some competition for your title this year, Aomine-senpai."

"Hah?" Aomine nearly chokes on the cough he tries to casually expel when he forces his gaze from a laughing Kise. From this angle, he can almost swear it's Wakamatsu Kousuke standing over him instead of his slightly less obnoxious younger brother. "If it isn't little Wakamatsu Sousuke. Don't you have anything better to do than bug your senpais with dumb shit? Go make yourself useful and stop takin' up my airspace. There's no one better than me on the team, even if blondie's set on showin' off for everyone. What the hell do I care anyway? It's just stupid Kise." 

"You look like you care plenty." And the younger boy leaves, but not before setting down a basketball that makes Aomine's fingers itch to show Sousuke he doesn't know a damn thing and fuck if he's going to let Kise invade territory he's held unchallenged for the last two years.

"Eh," he grunts as he pushes himself off the stage, basketball in hand. "Stupid freshman. He doesn't know jack shit. I'll show him," he mutters, the ball dribbling at his side in that languid pace he takes when he's gearing for a fast break. He nods to signal Sakurai, who's so surprised with Aomine actually deciding to join practice that he stares widely enough for Aomine to think his eyes are going to pop right out of their sockets.

With a quick snap of the ace's fingers, Sakurai comes to and motions for two others to help defend. "I'm sorry, Aomine-kun! I'm so--"

"Just get in position, Ryou," Aomine says in that exasperated way he does whenever Sakurai begins apologizing for being alive. He swears the kid doesn't give himself enough credit because when Sakurai gets his game face on, shit gets real and even Aomine feels a swell of pride directed at his longtime friend. "Need to show these little shits that there's only one ace on the team and it's definitely not blondie over there."

As he mentions Kise, Aomine's eyes automatically flicker toward the blond and the stupid smirk on Kise's face drives Aomine forward, ball bouncing hard against the laminated floor. He pauses and whirls around the first defender, crouching for a fraction of a second before he snaps up and dribbles past the second guy who, in all honestly, looks like he's about to wet his pants. The third defender, a second year whose name Aomine doesn't really care to remember, comes barreling at him and Aomine jumps. It's one of those moments when time moves kind of slow if only to catch up to the adrenaline that pumps through his veins as he makes the dunk. The basket creaks at the hinges, but he remains there, breaths ragged from the rush as his eyes search the sea of players for the one whose attention he wants most. 

Only Kise isn't staring. No, Kise is definitely  _not_  staring, but instead manages not only to copy the move Aomine did, but to wait for the perfect moment to dunk so that Aomine's eyes are on him the  _entire fucking time_. He hangs off the rim in the same cocky way that practically screams Aomine Daiki before dropping to the floor and shaking out his hair. Aomine wonders how the hell someone makes shaking off sweat so goddamn attractive when he hears a voice below him. 

"Dai-chan! You're going to break the hoop again!" Satsuki looks at him like a parent telling off their kid for being an obnoxious shit and he finally lets go, his fingers raking through his hair just as his feet hit the floor. She makes some errant comment about Kise and his copycat skills, but Aomine's already on his way toward the blond. 

"You got better," he manages lamely and Kise responds with a rise of his brow and one of those mischievous twinkling things in his eyes that Aomine's only really seen in shounen ai love stories Satsuki used to make him watch. 

"You played with me almost every day during the summer. You know I've gotten better, Aominecchi." Kise can't keep the amusement in his voice. He does this thing with his mouth, the half-smirk that Aomine has always thought was his signature, but now definitely looks better on that stupidly attractive face. It infuriates him, makes him want to knee the blond in the groin, but mostly he's appalled to realize that he just wants to wipe that smirk off with something he really doesn't want to think about right now. Stupid Kise and his stupidly perfect mouth. 

Instead, Aomine takes the towel draped over his shoulders and uses it to wipe the trail of sweat that streaks Kise's face before he can stop himself. He pauses mid-swipe when he realizes what he's done.  _What the fuck am I doing? Slowly walk away. Yeah, I just need to slowly walk away. I'm such a fucking idiot. Christ._

He slings the towel around the blond's nape, the gesture casual and something he's done a million times before. But instead of letting go, his eyes catch a golden pair and all he can think about is how his heart is playing a sequence from  _Drum Line._ He's pretty sure Kise's wondering why he's standing there like some gaping idiot, when all Aomine really wants to do is touch the dumb blond. He reaches out, but instead of some magic moment like in those Disney movies (Satsuki used to say it broadened his horizons), he ends up awkwardly patting Kise's shoulder in that friendzone way. "You did good." And to save himself from sounding like some lame line from _Mulan_ , he adds, "I guess."

"Uh, thanks, Aominecchi." Kise's expression is confused and he opens his mouth to say something else, but Aomine's already walking away, afraid he'll embarrass himself even more. 

"I'm done with practice," Aomine says over his shoulder as he picks up a random basketball rolling on the floor and chucks it over his head. The sound of the telltale  _swish_  fills his ears and the swagger's returned before the gym doors slam shut behind him.

* * *

 

Getting Kise to 'see the light' is a lot harder than Aomine thinks it would be. Kise has always idolized him, admired him, practically drooled over his moves on the court. Aomine can't figure out why the hell he can't seem to get himself out of the goddamn friendzone. 

It's been weeks since school began and everything he's done so far seems to scream failure each and every time. At first, he chalks it up to poor experience. After all, he's used to ogling females with considerable assets and Kise, as confusing and weird as his attraction is to him, is neither female nor sporting the assets Aomine's known to favor. 

Having to look at Kise and seeing him be the way he is, the way he's always been with everyone, begins to take its toll on Aomine. The flirtatious smiles, the affectionate gestures, the sometimes over-friendly act with some of his fanbase, which seems to have grown in number since he's transferred to Touou, is all too much for Aomine to handle without the green-eyed fucking Godzilla awakening and often leaving a catastrophic aftermath of pissed off moods in its wake.  

He's tried leaving flowers at Kise's locker because that's what guys who liked girls normally did. The only problem is he's kind of an idiot sometimes and signing the card that came with it probably would have been a good idea. When Kise finds the flowers, his expression confused because how the hell did his female fans get into the boys' locker room to begin with, he chalks it up to an overzealous fan and laughs it off like it's something normal, something ordinary -- definitely not something Aomine agonized over for hours because he needed to find just the right flowers that didn't scream 'homosexual' like it was some sort of coming out banner. 

He should be better at this; he gets just as much female attention as the blond at times and it's not like he's never had girlfriends before. But it dawns on him as he thinks back on previous experiences that he's never really given a shit, not like this, and never in a way that he's making some pretty serious effort to get someone to like him. Liking him was the first step, after all, and already it's proving to be more of a pain in the ass than he anticipated. He isn't even sure if Kise bats for that team, but there's no way something like that blindsides him without prompting him to at least swing the batter his way. 

And so tries, probably harder than he's ever tried for anything in his entire life, and something about the idea of 'wooing' a guy (and really, how dumb is that term? 'Woo'. Who the fuck woos anyone anymore these days anyway?) makes him think about what an utter mindfuck this whole entire thing is to begin with. Because Kise is not only a guy, but his best friend, too. So if he fucks things up, he'll be losing a lot more than just some ass he couldn't tap. 

As a last ditch effort, he asks the blond to come over for a movie, hoping that maybe luck's on his side that night instead of trying to perpetually trample him over like some goddamn troll. 

"Aominecchi's so cruel! You know scary movies freak me out!" Kise's face pinches as the signature whine is followed by the jutted pout of the blond's bottom lip. Aomine's already anticipated this, banked on the fact that scary movies turn Kise into a whimpering scaredy cat. "Can't we watch a comedy instead? Oh! Or maybe one of those new releases that came out yesterday!" 

"That romantic comedy shit? Nah, this one sounded more interesting," he says as the opening scene plays out, painting shadows all around them because Aomine thinks it's a good idea to keep the lights off to 'maximize the movie's effects'.

"Do the lights really have to be turned off?" There's a pleading note in Kise's voice, but Aomine is dead set on getting what he wants. 

"Shut up and enjoy the movie, baka."

"But--"

"Watch the movie, Ryouta."

Kise clams up; he always does every time Aomine uses his first name. 

Now, the movie's a lot scarier than Aomine anticipates and he doesn't realize that he's sitting there, the blanket thrown over him progressively getting tighter and tighter because  _holy shit, why the hell would the main character go in the room with shit that moves by itself?_  until it's too late. Kise hasn't made a peep in a while and just as he glances over to see how the blond's doing, something in his peripheral lunges toward the screen and there's a simultaneous explosion of shrieks and choked gasps as they both dive under the blanket, huddled together and chanting, " _holy shit, don't go in there, don't fucking go in there,_ " like it was perfectly normal for two grown ass men to snuggle under the blanket like five year olds because they're freaked out over a scary movie. 

Once he's calmed down enough to watch the rest of the movie, it dawns on him that they're still cuddling and he makes no move to get away. Kise's scent is intoxicating and breathing it in forces him to suppress an involuntary groan because goddammit, it smells  _so fucking good_  and he tells himself he can't help it when in actuality, it's really more 'he won't' than 'he can't' at this point. 

But then something else comes to mind, something important that stays on his mind long after Kise's left his house:

Kise didn't move away either.

* * *

 

This time, Kise takes the initiative and invites him out to one of those fundraiser things Aomine normally wouldn't be caught dead at, but it's Kise and hey, Kise can pretty much ask him to dance around in a goddamn chicken suit and he'll probably consider it.

He arrives at the door, three-piece suit and the whole nine yards making him feel like a million bucks, only to realize he didn't bring any flowers. That's what people bring on dates, isn't it? He frantically searches Kise's front lawn for something that might look remotely decent and decides on a cluster of flowers at the far end of the flower bed, secretly hoping Kise's mother isn't going to look in that general direction for a while. 

It's a little hard to see with just the dim porch light on and it takes him a few good pulls before he finally manages to yank the goddamn flowers out. His first thought is  _oh shit!_  because really, that's become the norm for him these days and there are clumps of dirt still clinging on to the ends of the flowers like they're hanging on for dear life. He tries to remove it but just as he begins stripping the excess soil and other crap superglued to the damn thing, something flies out from one of the bulbs and zooms straight for his face. 

"Oh fuck, oh fuck,  _WHAT THE FUCK, GET AWAY!_ " 

In all fairness, Aomine's dislike of bees stems from a traumatic experience when he was just a kid, but it probably doesn't help much that this little shit drove at his face like it had a purpose. He probably would have continued flailing around in that way people do when they're home alone listening to stupid pop songs in the privacy of their own bedroom had Kise not opened the door, golden eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. 

"Aominecchi?! Is there a reason you're flapping around my front yard like some deranged maniac?"

"B--" Aomine manages between gasps, forcibly trying to keep his body from involuntarily spazzing because  _wow, he just handed his mancard over for that one_. "There was a..." He kind of just stands there and awkwardly palms his nape, barely wheezing now, but that doesn't help with the instant embarrassment that whacks him in the face out of nowhere. "...bee."

"A bee? But what were you--" Kise pauses as his gaze falls to the flowers still clutched in Aomine's hand, the stems now a mangled mess of green and clumps of brown. "Are those flowers from my mother's flower bed?"

"Uh, yeah, sorry about that. Tell her I'll find a way to fix it." Really, there's no way the night could get any worse for him; but then again, it's still early. 

"Why would you even--"

"Dunno. Wanted to get you flowers."

"But why--"

"That's what people do on dates, right?"

"Date? Wait, did you think I asked you out on a date?" Kise's blinking at him at a mile a minute and it takes Aomine a second to snap out of staring at those ridiculously long lashes. 

"I-- uh..." Aomine doesn't expect that response. He's sure Kise's warmed up to him by now, but apparently he sucks at reading signals and the idea of crawling under the covers in the sanctuary of his bed sounds pretty damn good right about now. "Of course not. That's dumb."

"But you just said--"

"Forget what I said. Are we going to this stupid thing or what? I don't wanna be there forever," he says, half-hoping that maybe the blond would say no and he can crawl into a hole somewhere instead. 

"I don't understand what Aominecchi's trying to say. I thought you wanted to be just friends."

"Hah? What the fuck gave you that idea?" Now it's Aomine's turn to be confused because as far as he's concerned, all he's done is throw himself at Kise. Okay, maybe not  _throw_ , but pretty damn close to it. 

"You always made these faces whenever I brought up the fact that I have more male fans now and always steered the conversation away whenever I asked about people you were interested in. I just figured you didn't bat for that team and I was okay with that because I'd rather have you as a friend than nothing at all, I guess."

"You idiot. I've been trying to--" Aomine's brows pinch together and he swears his face probably looks like a goddamn tomato with the way the heat rushes up his cheeks, but he can't bring himself to say it. "I didn't wanna hear about your fans because I might have been a little bit, I dunno... jealous... or something."

"Jealous? Why would Aominecchi be jealous?"

"Why the hell do you think? C'mon, Ryouta. It's not rocket science." He pauses. "And I didn't wanna talk about who I was interested in 'cause it should've been fucking obvious. I think I'm in l--" He tries again and chokes on the most important word. "--with you," he finishes lamely, locking eyes with Kise and hoping that maybe he'll understand anyway, despite Aomine's idiocy and inability to not fuck up something so simple. 

Kise's silent for a moment as he keeps his gaze level with the ace's. There's a hesitancy there, but the consideration itself gives Aomine hope enough. "I think I get what you're trying to say. But just so we're clear, say it in a way that makes sense to both of us."

"Screw this goddamn fundraiser and play some one-on-one with me." Aomine berates himself for being so dumb about these things, but if there's anything that speaks to both of them on that level, it's this. 

Kise's face brightens and he nods, almost too enthusiastically. "Let me just go change."

"Okay," Aomine responds, relieved that Kise doesn't press for him to explain.

"Okay," Kise echoes. Something dawns behind that golden gaze before he steps back into the house. A few seconds pass and he pokes his head back out, that thousand-watt smile flooring Aomine because  _fuck, he's never going to get over that goddamn smile, not ever_. But even then, it's nothing next to what Kise does next:

"I love you, too, you big idiot."

And Aomine falls in love all over again.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr @ [limitlessmonster](http://limitlessmonster.tumblr.com). :D


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